I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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