ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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