I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
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Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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