Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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