I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
foreskin is a definite game changer
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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