Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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