Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
