I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
