You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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