dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize