Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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