is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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