you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
