I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
