well I can't set my house on fire every night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
