I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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