Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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