soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize