I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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