based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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