The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
