He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
