i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize