Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
