Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
"it" just moved
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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