i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
