I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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