Do you still have your period?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
