My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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