So drunk its hurt
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
