Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
