Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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