i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
whose ass print is on the piano?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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