I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
