look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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