Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
