where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
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