I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She needs sedatives and a leash
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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