I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
