Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
