I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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