next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
