Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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