I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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