Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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