i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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