yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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