I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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