yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
