She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
