he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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