I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
