dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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