is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
