still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
