I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
