Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
do herpes really smell.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
