It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
