I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
