It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
