I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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