nut hugger
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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